If you’re considering perfectionism and people pleasing therapy, you already know how tiring it is to hold yourself to impossible standards or keep everyone else comfortable. The pressure shows up in your chest, your jaw, your stomach — and somewhere inside, a part of you is tired of doing it all alone. These patterns didn’t appear out of nowhere. They developed from parts of you that learned long ago that staying perfect, agreeable, or easy was the safest way to move through the world.
Maybe you say yes when your whole body is whispering no.
Maybe you work twice as hard as everyone else and still feel like it’s not enough.
Maybe you replay conversations, worrying you upset someone.
Maybe you feel responsible for everyone’s emotions but your own.
Maybe you feel guilty resting, slowing down, or setting limits.
On the outside, you might look calm and capable.
On the inside, it can feel overwhelming, lonely, or quietly exhausting.
These patterns are not flaws.
They are protections — parts of you doing the best they can to keep you safe.
🌿The Body Cost of Perfectionism & People-Pleasing
These patterns often show up physically:
tension in the jaw
tight chest
racing thoughts
a sinking feeling in the stomach
restless energy
difficulty sleeping
overwhelm that seems to appear out of nowhere
Your body keeps score when expectations are too high or when your system is living in a “please don’t be upset with me” state.
Through a combined IFS and somatic approach, we gently notice these sensations — not to judge them, but to understand what part of you is speaking.
🌿A Gentle Way Forward
In perfectionism and people pleasing therapy, we don’t try to get rid of these parts.
Instead, we get curious.
What is this part afraid will happen if you don’t keep everyone happy?
What does the pushing part believe it must protect?
What younger part feels responsible for others’ comfort?
Where does your body tense or collapse when these parts show up?
What would these parts need to soften, even slightly?
As internal safety grows, these parts learn they don’t have to work so hard.
Space opens for something steadier to emerge — a sense of self that feels more authentic, grounded, and connected to what you want.
🌿You Don’t Have to Carry This Alone
If you’re tired of trying to be everything to everyone, or you’re noticing the emotional and physical toll these patterns have taken, support is available. You’re welcome to reach out for a 15-minute connection call — a gentle first step toward understanding the parts of you that work so hard.
🌿Related Posts on People-Pleasing You May Find Helpful
If perfectionism or people-pleasing has shaped the way you move through the world, these posts offer deeper support and understanding:
How People Pleasing In Adulthood Begins- and Why it Makes Sense
Recognizing People-Pleasing in Adulthood- From the Inside Out
People-Pleasing and Mental Health: Are You Really Pleasing Anyone?
